Your Dreams Can Change and That’s Perfectly Okay

Posted On Thursday, November 9th, 2017
Filed Under: Looking FLY on a Dime

*taps mic* This thing on?

It’s been almost six months since my last blog post. 6. Long. Months. Back in the day I would have never gone longer than six days, let alone six months, without having new content. So why did I stop blogging with no notice or explanation?
One month passed. No new posts. Then another two months passed. No new style posts. Then my six or seven year blogiversary came on September 1 and I still didn’t blog and really didn’t care.
Well, I was tired. But it was more than that. I’v been tired before, downright exhausted and I still managed to push through. This was different.

When I first started this site, it was an outlet that I needed after being laid off from my job at InStyle. I wanted this to be the destination for women who were on a budget, but still wanted to look great. This site used to be fun for me, but eventually it turned into what felt like a burden and something that was sucking me dry.
Earlier this year I started to increasingly feel:
Is anyone even reading the site?
Everyone’s blog is bigger than mine
Ugh, excessive thrift shoppers are really just hoarders, so should I write another thrift article?
Why do I even bother going to press previews when the publicists routinely ignore me and other brown girls?
Does anyone even blog anymore?
If one more television producer reaches out to me for “ideas” but ultimately doesn’t book me but then I see my ideas on their show…
Anxiety. Depression.
Make ups. Break ups.
Why is everyone married with kids and I’m giving all this energy to a career that still isn’t even successful?
Why didn’t I accept XYZ deal or job? I’d have so much more money and wouldn’t be broke
Ugh, I have to take on another freelance gig to kinda hate because #bills
Also, I found myself hating bloggers. I know hate is a strong, nasty word. And I didn’t “hate” anyone in particular, but I hated what blogging started to represent. The new wave of blogging meant having 50k+ Instagram followers to even be considered worthy, having fake poses and even faker laughs, not eating a meal until the plates have been properly and perfectly positioned and snapping a pic, selling people random e-courses. Blah. Blah. Blah.
Between all of that fog, I had had enough. Feeling that heavy makes it hard to write about lighthearted topics and it’s especially hard to muster up the energy to do your hair, makeup and put on a pretty outfit so you can take a ton of photos just to end up with a few decent ones to put on your blog. I knew I needed a change. A pause. Just a hard reset.
I was moving at such a rapid pace, posting more, going to more events, more more more, but exactly where was I going?
Over the last month or two I started feeling a little lighter, had an outline for what I envisioned and knew I wanted to blog again but I wasn’t exactly sure when. A bit of an a-ha moment happened earlier this week when I attended an OWN event for the show “Checked Inn.”
The show is all about Monique Greenwood and her family’s B&B Akwaaba, which has a few locations in New York, New Jersey and Pennsylvania. The series debuts the end of the month on 11/21 {you can actually watch the first episode here}, but when I attended a Q&A with the family and visited the Brooklyn location, something clicked.
Monique is the former Editor in Chief of Essence magazine and now she runs an empire that includes almost half a dozen bed and breakfast locations. How does someone make that leap? It’s all about passion and also changing your mind.
While touring the house, each room was meticulously designed and the staff was kind {which is a trait you can’t train people on, they either are or they aren’t!}. And passion plays into the “Checked Inn” show as well, since one of the plots revolve around Monique’s daughter, Glynn, taking over the family business vs. following her own passion of writing.
Passion. Changing your mind.
I realized I had to change my mind about what I wanted Looking Fly on a Dime® to  be and represent. I’ll always be passionate about sharing affordable style tips and making women feel better when they get dressed. I grew up with no money and was even called Sally Jessy Raphael as a kid because of my big red glasses {don’t laugh. okay, you can laugh!}, so I’ll always stand for the girl who’s on a budget!
What has changed is not feeling the need to follow a particular formula. I won’t blog every day for the sake of hitting a unique monthly visitors quota. I can only manage once a week {for now}. I won’t be that person who posts three or four times a day on Instagram because I’m desperately trying to reach a certain number of followers so brands and agents will want to work with me.
Instead I’m focused on more in depth content, which includes:
Continuing to do more on-air segments {here’s a fun Today Show segment I did this summer on how to maximize your wardrobe}. I had no desire to work in television a few years ago but it randomly happened when the managing editor at a local station found my YouTube channel and offered me a job as their Savvy Shopper. I just went with it. I finally realized, it wasn’t random. This is where I’m supposed to be and being on-air is a passion. Sometimes I see on-air hosts and “experts” and they’re so full of themselves. You can tell they don’t care about serving their audience or studying their craft. It’s literally a me-me-me moment for them to shine. That’s not who I ever wanted to be. If I’m in front of the camera, I’m there to serve and be of use to someone.
Being honest with style advice & brands
When I’m really excited about something {Tracee Ellis Ross for JCPenney!!!!}, it shows. When I’m not feeling it {overpriced Erdem for H&M}, it shows. I want this site to continue to be an honest space. No bashing of brands or people but just honesty when it comes to a real budget. Though I haven’t been blogging here for months, I have been doing Instagram stories and sharing my What’s In Store Wednesday posts where I go in store and show you guys what a retailer has to offer. I’ll continue to do that honest, relatable pieces like that on social media {so follow along at @PatriceJWill} and bring that to the blog as well. I’ve found that posts like that, when I’m giving you the real deal, is when more people connect with me anyway.
When you’re starting something new, it’s always tricky because you wonder if your audience will be on board. When I first started blogging I didn’t think about it. I just did and posted about what felt natural. But as more and more people read your site or stop reading your site, that doubt creeps in and you start to feel boxed in. That feeling of “oh no, people only know me for writing about ABC, I can’t do XYZ.” Well actually, you can.
For me that means some new content will include personal organization and personal style/branding for people who want to get in front of the camera. Maybe because I’m super anal retentive, but lately I’ve been into becoming a personal organizer. Like, I’ve legit looked into getting my certification. Did you even know that’s a thing?! It is! It’s been two years since I did a major closet clean out and got rid of so much stuff i.e. crap. The sheer joy that you feel from getting rid of dead weight is something that can’t be described. I want to help people clear the clutter and get free. The irony of a fashion blogger and on-air stye expert wanting people to get rid of stuff?! Isn’t the goal to get people to buy more and more? Not for me! I’d rather people make smart decisions and buy what moves them vs just feeling the need to have everything.
And as for the personal branding? Ive had a number of people ask me about tips on what to wear when they’re appearing on television or speaking in front of a crowd. Fashion really does speak louder than words, so I’ll be sharing some of these tips to put your best foot forward and get your message across.
During the “Checked Inn” Q&A, Monique was asked “what matters to you?” She effortlessly answered, “Am I living my life to the nth degree?”
My goals and dreams may change, but I need to start measuring my true success by, am I living to my full potential and honoring the vision that’s been put in my heart? If so, mission accomplished.
And one dream that I’ve never, ever shared publicly before? Eventually I want to open a vintage boutique! Maybe it’s a dream I’ll make come true or maybe I’ll change my mind and have another dream.
Thank you guys for reading this longer than usual post and I’m looking forward to this new journey and hope you’ll join me for the ride.
Akwaaba photos: Bernard Smalls 
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10 thoughts on “Your Dreams Can Change and That’s Perfectly Okay

  1. I have been a reader of your site for years and it’s true many of us do not know what we are missing when sites we love just disappear. I wish you continued success and looking forward to more. . .

  2. Welcome back! Thank you for being candid and most importantly, true to yourself. We are living in a “now” era where everyone just cranks out photos constantly to stay relevant but not inform. It’s refreshing to see an influencer care about that because all of us aren’t rich or want to be in debt trying to keep up. All the best to you whatever passions you choose to follow. Your honesty, talent and style will keep those that should be with you, with you.

  3. Hi, I’m off of all social media, but just happened to browse by your blog today–of my own, independent, desire! Over the years, I have really appreciated seeing your creativity be engaged beyond your clothes–in your shopping strategies, writing, speaking, photography, and management of social media. It will be exciting to see where the next adventure takes you! I hope you decide to share with your readers. I originally came to this site because of my love of thrift shopping, but it made me recognize more about myself as a woman–that I don’t want to be branded as a certain type of consumer, or sold style in the guise of high priced fashion. Your instincts are right, keep going!

    • Wow, thank you so much for your comment. I really do appreciate it. And kudos to you for deciding who you want to be as a consumer, what fits your style and more. Cheers to authenticity and doing (and wearing!) what feels right.

  4. Hi Patrice,
    I love your blog! It feels authentic. I love watching your videos. You make fashion accessible. I have been wondering what was going on with you. I’m excited to follow your evolution. Please charge for your ideas! I need to take this advic too. I need to follow my dreams. You are an inspiration.

  5. Like others I’ve been checking weekly for new posts (even on IG), and wondering. I’m relieved to know you’re are good. I respect you even more now. Be the best you -everyone else is taken. Life is a journey, listen to God’s calling and He will take you right where you need to be.
    I’ve been here a long time and I’m not going anywhere. Thanks for caring to share.
    Blessings.

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